I swear it’s the weather…
Growing up in Germany during my adolescent years meant many winters were spent in hibernation. That was only up until I was old enough to leave the house and party my little 16-year-old heart out. I would put on my sluttiest heels, my shortest dress, and walk on uneven cobblestone that was completely covered in ice. The cold had nothing on my ability to have a good time. However, all good things must come to an end, and my tolerance to cold weather has completely diminished since I moved to Texas five years ago. When we were hit with “inclement” weather last week and the whole city shut down for #snowpocalypse2014 I didn’t even want to leave my room. How could I? There was snow everywhere! And by snow I mean there was just some frost on the grass. Work was cancelled, school was cancelled, and life was cancelled. If my 16-year-old self could see me now she would most likely call me a vulgar name, tell me to throw on some heels, and go grind up on some guy to warm up. But now I cannot handle any sort of weather below 40 degrees, so I have to find other ways to occupy my time. If you warm-blooded Texans seem to find yourself in another snow day 10 years down the road, here are some suggestions on how to deal with a Texas-style polar vortex:
Pour it up, pour it up!
My roommates made me a hot chocolate with Baileys the night we saw some sleet, and it was so cozy and cute I couldn’t even deal with it. Also I got a buzz, it was warm, and you know… chocolate. It’s the perfect combination for those moments when you don’t want to leave your house but also want some sort of alcoholic beverage to remind yourself that you’re still fun. Be a lush, you know you want to.
When it hits 36 degrees in Texas, you might as well plan for the end of days, throw on some pj’s, and load a bowl. Although sometimes you do need to venture out and see the human race. There’s only one way to stay warm and that’s layers. I get really excited when it’s cold enough to wear layers here because it’s like far more rare than Miley not showing her tongue. I feel as if my true self suffers immensely due to this hot state. Sometimes all I want is to wear a beanie when it’s actually cold. Get creative and cute, throw on your favorite sweater over your favorite flannel. Put on some knee highs and combat boots over tights. This is the time to explore your wardrobe options because we all know how limited clothing gets in the summer.
If this crazy polar vortex happens again, take this time to catch-up on life. Skype with friends who live far away, read that book you always wanted to, and binge-watch Netflix while sipping on some spiked hot-chocolate. I spent my day off baking, drinking, and enjoying my the company of friends. It’s nice when almost everyone’s lives just stop for a day. It gives us the time we need to re-coup and obsess over Justin Bieber’s arrest.
After you get your polar vortex routine down, it’s best to prepare for the next day’s weather, which will most likely be 70 degrees. In that case take off those layers, stop watching Netflix, put up the Baileys and grab a cold Lone Star. Going from one extreme to the next can be rough, but to be honest I’m not complaining about this sudden warm front. Part of me wishes that it would stay cold for more than one day so I could prepare myself mentally and physically for the New York winter I’m planning to endure next year. Stay warm y’all or should I now say stay cool? Just try and embrace the bipolar weather like you would your bipolar friend.