La Da Di Da Di, Get Off Miley’s D**k

miley

Seriously. All the #hate is getting really annoying and overly redundant. Why is America still slut-shamming celebrities whose personal dating life they don’t  know? It really isn’t such a big deal that another Disney Channel starlet is trying to break free from that dreaded “little kid” image. Get over it. Everyone’s image (in Hollywood) gets sexualized at some point because that’s the circle of life. Then you get old, like Madonna, and you still try to be sexual. You know why? Because sex sells. Who knew?

Miley Cyrus has been demonized since the release of her latest music video, ‘We Can’t Stop,’ but the vitriol against her increased exponentially after her performance at the VMA’s last Sunday. All over some ‘twerking’ and an awkward-fitting latex bikini. Apparently, everyone without an invo to the VMA’s gets to be judge of the universe for a day because it seems like Miley is on trial for a number of ‘crimes.’

Miley’s Performance Disrupts News Flow, World Collapses. 

twerkmanning

Apparently, the modern human being must be really stupid because 100% of us are so mesmerized and distracted by a twerking 20-year-old that we just cannot focus on any important matters. Either that or Miley is a witch and should be burned at the stake for attracting the male gaze like that. How dare she! How dare she steal the front page! The VMA’s lasted 2 hours… her performance maybe 10 minutes. If you can’t think about anything else, then you’re the one with the problem… not her.

No T no shade, though, that mileycyrustwerkingonreality blog is really funny.

Miley Cyrus Seduces Married 36-Year-Old White Man Into Inappropriate Grinding 

Why isn’t anyone shitting on Robin Thicke instead for this? Because double standards. That’s why.

Also, I’m having a hard time understanding why everyone’s go-to question about the whole situation is “what would her parents say?” I mean, why is it anyone’s business what Billy Ray Cyrus has to say about any of this? He is absolutely conscious that his daughter is goofing off on stage. So what’s he gonna do about it? She’s an adult, and worth three times as much. And some of us… some of us like older married men, okay?

Props to whoever made this though:

mileyray

Miley’s Obscene Dancing Induces PTSD on the Smith Family

smithfamily

And we certainly can’t have that! I mean, Willow Smith doesn’t have a song about hair whipping, and HER dancing is absolutely appropriate all the time because she can’t possibly steal from her own culture. Just watch this video of her with Nicki Minaj.

Yep, definitely kid-friendly and Smith family approved!

Miley Cyrus is a Privileged, White Country Singer. Appropriating (Exploiting) Black Culture For The Sake of Sales is Outrageous!

nickibarbMaybe she is a little privileged because of her skin color, but she’s still a woman. One who is trying to establish that she is the one in control of her body and sexuality. You girls need to carry each other! So maybe she is able to move in and out of ‘ratchet’ mode as she pleases and go back to a pampered, waspy life. So what? Does that mean regular people like me can’t twerk and dress ‘hood’ just because we’re a different ethnicity and make a certain income? It’s my body I can move how I want to. It’s my money I can buy what I want to.

Besides, if Miley’s appropriation of black culture is so horrible. Why isn’t everyone shitting on Nicki Minaj and Beyonce for wearing blonde wigs and trying to look like Barbie dolls? It’s not fair to condemn a person for adopting elements of another culture into their own form of expression. Being able to share our cultures is part of what makes the human experience worth living. Otherwise, damn all Americans that eat Italian food and buy Chinese-made goods.

P.S. Ke$ha also got a bunch of #hate over her look in the music video for “Crazy Kids” because she looks ‘hood’ when she clearly isn’t. But you know who also hates Ke$ha? The Westboro Baptist Church. Congratulations, you have something in common with the most despicable people on Earth!

kesha_crazy_kids

Miley Cyrus is Fat

mileybikini

Listen, this is why fourth-graders in America have eating disorders. This is why Amanda Bynes got 5150’d recently. Miley Cyrus is not fat. That, my friend, is a latex bikini bottom. It is not as flexible as cotton. You wouldn’t know because you’ve never worn one. Don’t worry- you never will! Your life is not as embarrassing as Miley’s. Thank baby Jesus for that.

Miley Cyrus and her clearly obese body that isn't fit

Miley Cyrus and her clearly obese body that isn’t fit

I don’t understand why this girl isn’t in prison yet. She is definitely a threat to herself and others and America! She is destroying our nation and stealing the spotlight from the real issues and Lord save us! She is pure evil.

Seriously. Fuck off.

#TEAMMILEY

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